Results tagged ‘ Oprah ’
Derek Holland’s World Series Game 4 performance speaks for itself.
So does his mustache.
Some historians have already gone so far as to say that it’s the best mustache in World Series history.
With that in mind, it’s necessary to compare Derek’s crumb catcher with some of the other greats of our time.
Tom Selleck might be the “complete game shutout” of mustaches. Full of color and texture, it’s virtually as good as it gets.
Edge: Magnum P.I.
Dr. Phil’s mustache lacks the rich color of Sellecks, yet is refined and distinguished. I fear young Derek will have to wait a few more months (or years) to reach this level.
Edge: Oprah’s guy
Remember Rojo Johnson? If you missed it, he returned to the mound in 2010 to pitch for the Round Rock Express after spending four years in prison for stealing, and eventually selling, illegal iguanas. Rojo can hardly be contained.
Edge: The Venezuelan
Ron Swanson. Do I need to say anymore? If you haven’t seen NBC’s Parks and Recreation I highly recommend it. Ron is a man’s man. His ‘stache is the one we should be fearing.
Now that is a mustache. You know you’re doing something right when your fans dress like this to watch you pitch. Who are the guys on the right? If you don’t know, maybe you should stop reading and start watching The Office. Jim, Dwight, and Michael are three of my closest friends and should be yours, too.
Edge: Dunder Mifflin
So maybe Derek’s mustache can’t yet compete with some of the great mustaches of our time. But that didn’t stop him last night.
The All-Star Break will be gone before we know it. That’s how these short breaks work, especially when they are only two days long.
The last time there were two straight days without a RoughRiders game that counted? April 5 and 6, right before the 2011 regular season started. A few Texas League clubs (I’m looking at you, Northwest Arkansas and Arkansas) had some games washed out because of rain. Not the RoughRiders.
Let’s take you back to the last time this club enjoyed an off day similar to this one. What was this world like back on April 6? Let’s tell you about it in an All-Star edition of the Facts.
- Dr Pepper Ballpark had been without a meaningful baseball game for 209 days.
- Texas League fans’ lasting memory of San Antonio was that the club’s offense was bad.
- Tommy Mendonca and Martin Perez were hoping for bounce-back seasons. Wish granted.
- The most ridiculous stat of them all: defending MVP Josh Hamilton had not posted a Double-A home run. He hit his first this year.
- Martin Perez had not had a perfect game in his career.
- Leonys Martin was very much a free agent.
- The Rangers won their sixth straight game to start their A.L. pennant defense.
- Baltimore, Kansas City and Pittsburgh were a combined 13-6.
- Boston and Tampa Bay were a combined 0-12.
- South Carolina’s baseball program had only won six straight College World Series games.
- California’s baseball program was not scheduled to survive past 2011.
- The Dallas Mavericks were an afterthought.
- The greatest poll ever had not been created: Can you name the player who has won an NBA Title between LeBron and Dirk?)
- Kemba Walker was the talk of the basketball world.
- The NFL was in a lockout. Oh wait…
- VCU and Butler’s application numbers were going up. Big time.
- Osama bin Laden was alive.
- Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and Joplin, Missouri, looked very different.
- I had never heard of a “Royal Wedding.”
- Oprah was still on the air.
There are many more changes than those 20, but this is a good start. Enjoy another day away from the RoughRiders. We’ll be back with you for more coverage in advance of the ‘Riders and the Springfield Cardinals Thursday.